I haven't written in a while....I mean, i've been writing, but i haven't posted stuff in a while, cos i never get to finish registering my thoughts at once, for the past 7 months (It always gets to a point where it doesn't make thorough sense).
I'm sure some of you feel that way, from time to time. i may be wrong. It's sometimes very easy to get distracted from what you used to do with so much passion and conviction, and at times, it could be very difficult to unlock yourself from those shackles of distractions that have entangled you and wrapped a thick dark clothing around your face, to mess up your vision.
Have you ever felt so far away from Home, even though you never wandered away for more than a mile? Have you ever felt like you've slept for so long, even though you never shut your eyes for a second? Have you ever felt tolerated, even though there are more than enough people around you to hold hands with and have fun? Well, that defines how I feel sometimes. (No questions. lol).
Last night, i went to bed feeling a lil cold (not literally), but somehow i hit the 'snooze' button...eventually. I woke up this morning, my feelings lacking adequate definition. i knew I had to push myself to lighten up...I knew i had to give God nothing less than my best at the service, even though my relationship with him has been a bit.....
I got dressed and hit the road. I kept replaying the song we learnt at the tuesday rehearsal "One Thing Remains" by Jesus Culture (This song has blessed me). The words that resounded in my head were "Even in the obvious face of defeat, believe" Okay. What next? What exactly was I supposed to believe in/on? I sought for clarity...
After selecting and rehearsing the songs for the day, i sat down to have a quick chat with a friend, and she said to me "God will never withhold any good thing from you" Huh??? Like, seriously?? As if that wasn't enough, the preacher spoke for over 45mins, making references to God's unfailing love. I learnt that God doesn't love us MORE for what we've done or what we do, neither does He love us LESS for what we've not done, or are yet to do. He just loves us. Period. He loves us in our strong moments, in our weakness, mess, inadequacies, shortcomings, and in any other situation we seem to have put ourselves in (or find/found ourselves in).
The preacher's testimony of how he overcame betrayal and distrust with intentional and purposeful Love - the kinda love that was processed in heaven - knocked me off balance. That singular display of love attracted a word that quenched 14yrs of thirst. His testimony blew my mind. With tears almost rolling down, I gave in "I believe. Take the Wheel" At that point, I felt His love again.
May we not miss what God wants to do in our lives, all in the name of a Let's-be-realistic mindset. His timing may not align with your urgent and I-need-it-now-or-never needs, but He remains faithful. I don't think he will ever be sorry for not being on time, like we expect Him to.
Jesus heard of Lazarus's ill health, but delayed for two days. Jesus did not only delay to make martha and her sister feel any different, he was about to teach the disciples, you and I, a new level of 'believing'. The Message bible puts it this way "Then Jesus became explicit: "Lazarus died. And I am glad for your sakes that I wasn't there. You're about to be given new grounds for believing. Now let's go to him." John 11:14-15. He wasn't doing it for the spotlight, like some of us do today. Even martha didn't fully understand (I wouldn't have either). She believed that if Jesus asked the Father, her brother would be raised up, but in the resurrection, at the endtime "Master, if you'd been here, my brother wouldn't have died. Even now, I know that whatever you ask God he will give you." John 11:21-22. "I know that he will be raised up in the resurrection at the end of time." she said. Sometimes He responds sooner than we expect, and other times he takes His time. He is God. He is never late. My prayer for us is that we'll always be ready, with our faith intact, no matter how long it takes for Him to respond.
God's love is as gentle as a Child's touch. It's purposeful. It's harmless. As i played the bass lines to the song, this morning, i recalled carrying a baby a few weeks back (Well, i love babies hehehe). As i held this Child close, she stared at me. Noisy room, loads of distractions, yet she kept her eyes locked on me. I wish i could understand why she couldn't get her eyes off me..It was a mystery. Even when people carried her, she kept turning her head until she could no longer see me in sight. Once again, i carried her, and I felt the attention again. i leaned closer and she stretched her hands to touch my face...Wow! What a feeling it was!!! I was just unnecessarily happy. A group of people watched me carry this child round the hall, and were actually convinced she was mine. lol (i wish!). Others asked what i did to the child to capture her attention.
There's no depth in any of these, neither is there a theological explanation or revelation, but on that stage, this morning, I felt God's unconditional love...the kind of love that cannot be fully comprehended...the kind of love that says "I don't care what you've been through, I don't care what others may think of you, I don't care how many times you drove a spear into my side, I don't care if you are tagged (by people who think they know better) as unholy, filthy and unworthy to stand before me, i don't care if you just messed up the other night" The kinda love that says "I still have my eyes on you" The kinda love that never judges or holds to heart hurts and disappointments...the kinda love that forgives when we ask.
There's nothing special we've done (or are doing) to attract God's optimum attention. He loved us from the inception and creation of the earth. That love hasn't changed...it never will. Don't miss what God is about to do, and has started doing in your life.
My prayer for us is that God will touch us in a way that we have never felt before. He will turn things around to favour us. Also have it in mind that He will never withhold any good thing from YOU. If it's good for you, He'll surely bring it your way...and if it' not, He can take it away, if you give Him the chance to. The question is "Are you willing to let go, and receive what He has for you? Selah.
Though we might not fully understand why, but He loves us anyway. NEVER forget this!!!!
Work Hard. Pray Harder. Thank God
